02/07/2026, 13:52
These past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of really good things and really bad things... Classes are incredible, and not that hard overall. Having some difficulties with my mental health here and there, and some friendship dynamics have changed. But that's life I guess. I have a pretty big secret right now too, its not really a good secret though, thats why only one person knows what it is. This secret is kind of ruining my life but also making it better, its hard to tell sometimes. But one thing I have been really bad about since coming back to college is screen time on my phone. Its so easy to just lay in bed and be on my phone all night and all weekend, especially when its like -20F degrees outside every day so staying in is all you can do. I need to force myself to do other things, like work on this site, read my books, and paint. Overall though id say i am doing a lot better than I was over winter break...
01/18/2026, 15:52
BACK IN COLLEGE I am so damn happy to be here oh my freaking god. Literally roomie got here just after me and we're chillin and just yappin and our commuter friend is here im so happy. Genuinely it feels great to be here I am so glad to be away from home until march its a blessing. My classes start in two days I hopefully will be pumped for it still tuesday morning... The dining hall better have good food ts. While moving back in I got jumpscared bad by someone who isn't in my life anymore but theyre already out of sight out of mind ykyk.
01/16/2026, 16:02:
Yesterday and into today I have been incredibly sad. This journal isnt really going to go into specifics, that will stay in my physical journal, but. I think all the progress I have made to better myself this past month has left me. I think maybe because I stopped journaling every day once I felt my mental state was improving, I took away that source to let feelings out and so they all bottled up inside me and exploded out last night. I think if I keep myself to journaling, whether here or in my notebook, things will be better managed. Building this website definitely has helped me a lot in getting better. Having something I enjoy and can look forward to in my day is nice to have, so I dont stay in bed all day and waste time on my phone. I definitely think that once I am away from home and back in college things will get better as well. This house has a way of sucking all the life out of me and hopefully being back in college will make me feel happier. We will see in a few days I guess.

2026 New Years Resolutions:
1. Master Bach's "Concerto in G K.313" all movements (flute)
2. Laugh more . . 3. Compliment people more . . 4. Read at least 10 books
5. Memorize one really weird sentence in at least five languages

• 1. Graduate college with an Anthropology degree


• 2. Enroll in my dream university for graduate school


• 3. Achieve B2 equivalent proficiency in spanish


• 4. Have a savings account with at least $10,000 in it


• 5. Live in any latin american country for a summer (June-August, north-hemi summer)

• Name: Anteros (not my real name), I also use Honeydew online if you'd prefer
• Age: 18
• Pronouns: They/them
• From: New York State (not nyc!)
• Status: College freshman. I major in anthropology and minor in music and biology
• Fav Characters: Garfield, Sonic, Ramona Flowers, Inumaki (jjk), Paulie (Sopranos), Choso (jjk),
• Fav Artists: Mitski, Limp Bizkit, Sublime, Mac Demarco
• Fav Colors: Green, Purple, Blue
• Fav MLB Teams (In order) Cubs, Mets, White Sox, Athletics
• Hobbies Learning spanish, Watercolor painting, playing Peak and Sdv, Guitar, Reading(trying to)
• Why did I make this site?: I really have been made aware these past few months of how much the internet we use is owned and controlled by only a few corporations who purposefully make spaces to "doomscroll" and feel dependent on. I agree that the internet was not made to be monopolized, and anyone should be allowed to create a space of their own online to exist with full expressive control. I also think that AI as well as advertising is completely taking over the internet as it exists now, and wanted to make a place that is for people to relax and feel safe in. I could go on forever about this..